You Know You're In Trouble When...

...the people around you remind you of people you've seen on the Jerry Springer show. A few weeks ago for work I did a catering event at the Provo City Library. The bride and groom were beautiful, and very nice and polite. However almost every single person at their wedding were SO white trash! The comments people made were unbelievable.
But the cherry on top was when this lady came through the food line, and instead of taking a little pretty cup for the punch, she filled up a

7 eleven Big Gulp cup. Unfortunately the other two working the event with me missed it, but I stood there shamelessly starting at this uncouth woman.

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Apparently in October of 1970 Elton John, and Laurent Gontier had a conversation that went like this. (According to Laurent)

L: Elton I need you to write a song for this really special girl named Margot.
E: Sure Laurent, no problem. It'll be called your song.
L: My song?
E: No, your song, here are some of the lyrics:

My gift is my song and this one's for you
And you can tell everybody this is your song…
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world…
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

41 years later I finally got the song that was written for me. Thank you Laurent! I love you more than I have words for. You truly are my better half, thank you for being the amazing person you are.

Side note: Laurent has actually played tennis with Elton John!

We all have two choices; we can make a living or we can design a life

Here is my bucket list, I've been adding to it for a long time, and I know I will keep adding to it.
1. Run a marathon
2. Scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef
3. Learn to sail
4. Take Up Martial Arts
5. Learn to say “I love you” in 50 languages
6. Learn enough Italian to be able to understand opera
7. Compose a song
8. Learn to belly dance
9. Go skydiving
10. Climb Mount Kilimanjaro
11. Learn to say “no” without feeling guilty
12. Go white water rafting
13. Race a sports car
14. Ride the 10 largest roller coasters in the world
15. Visit the wreckage of the Titanic aboard a submarine
16. Experience weightlessness
17. Break a Guinness World Record
18. Visit Iguassu Falls
19. Learn to surf
20. Visit the Amazon Rainforest
21. Visit the Uffizi Gallery in Florence, Italy
22. Participate in the pilgrimage to Mecca
23. Take up Jewelry Making
24. Make a list of 100 books I want to read and read them
25. Go to Verona, Italy
26. Watch every movie that has won an Academy Award for best Picture.
27.Allow myself to make mistakes
28. Get a Masters Degree
29. Create a coat of arms for my family
30. Finish first in my class
31. Go to Israel and visit all the Jesus sights
32. Be Time Magazine’s Person of the Year
33. Volunteer in Thailand, Congo, India, Vietnam, and Rwanda
34. Publish a book
35. Spend a week at a 5-star spa
36. Own a Mercedes G-Wagon
37. Become a yoga instructor
38. Find the love of my life
39. Get married
40. Adopt a child
41. Sing Karaoke
42. Write a letter to each of my (future) children telling them what I want them to know about my life and the lessons I’ve learned, and tell them how much I love them right now
43. Learn to live in the now
44. Sit front row in a fashion show of my favorite designer
45. Put a message in a bottle in the ocean.

Some of the things on here I have already accomplished, and others are going to take a lifetime to do. I know I have big dreams, but I know I can accomplish them all.

Rwanda 2/24/11

This will be my last post about my journey in Rwanda. I’ve had a hard time missing Rwanda since the second I got on the bus in Gisenyi. As I’ve been pondering and pining away for the past, I have come to the conclusion that no matter what is going on in my life, I have to live in the present. I need to be passionate about whatever it is I am doing, whether it is just going to work everyday, or developing new talents and hobbies. My last night in Kigali Lynn, and I talked a lot about “the circle of life.” All of us came from all over the world for the same purpose and were placed in a home together to learn and grow from one another’s examples. We laughed, we cried, and formed life long bonds and now it’s time for the next phase of our lives. Although it’s time to move on I realize I didn’t have these experiences just for that short time in my life, but I will have these things with me for the rest of my life. Another thing I discussed with my “sisters” is how strange it is that we as human beings put ourselves in situations that will be emotionally hard for us. I knew I would be working with people who have had some of the worst atrocities happen to them. I knew I would form bonds, and then have to be ripped away from that. I knew this would be one of the hardest things I ever did, but there I was in Rwanda. Why do we do that?
Well this is my closing of my time in Rwanda. I hope I brightened someone’s day, I hope I helped change a life, but I know the people of Rwanda have changed mine.

I walked a long way in these shoes

Rwanda 2/18/11

One of the things I’m most proud of about going to Rwanda is that I actually went! This post is for people who want to volunteer. I wanted to go to Rwanda so I did some research, talked to people, found a reputable organization, picked a time to go, found a program I would enjoy, and applied. I got accepted, and spent the next few months working hard, and saving every penny I earned. Before I knew it I was crying my eyes out on the way to the airport. Yes, it is a scary thing to do! Going halfway across the world by yourself, but it’s all in the experience in becoming a stronger person. I have to admit I called Laurent after my second day at the clinic, crying saying it was harder than I thought it would be. I expected him to tell me that it was okay, I could come home. But instead he gave me such wonderful words of encouragement. I was able to get up the next morning, and the next until I loved everyday and was excited about the day. I don’t think he understands the impact he had on me. I will forever be grateful to him for being so wonderful in my time of need. So this goes to show you that it doesn’t take a special person to go volunteer; anyone can do it. It just takes a little bit of courage, passion, and encouragement from loved ones back home. It was some of the hardest weeks of my life, but as I’ve told several people: I wouldn’t change a second of it for anything.

Rwanda 2/17/11

Well I’ve been back for a day now and I am experiencing some severe culture shock. I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time adjusting back to my “normal” life. The only thing I can think of is because this time while traveling I wasn’t just a visitor, I lived, and worked in a community, and hung out with our local friends on the weekends. I had no one from back home to remind me of my “normal life.” When I landed in DC I saw this white stuff on the ground, and it literally took a few seconds to register that it was snow! Second, it’s so weird to no longer be the extreme minority, and not to have everyone stare at me everywhere I go. I really don’t enjoy not being a queen anymore either! I can no longer talk about whatever I want in front of whomever I want because now everyone understands the language I’m speaking. All that aside it has also been mentally and emotionally hard to be home. It’s hard going back to your previous life when for the last little while all my life has been about is others. It’s weird to be walking around the gardens, and art museum in Pasadena feeling completely idle and unneeded.

Rwanda 2/16/11

I can’t believe I am going home. In some ways I feel as if Rwanda has been my home for years, and in other ways it feels like I just got here. I have mixed feelings about going home. I do miss Laurent so very much and I definitely will enjoy the comfort of my home, but I will dearly miss Rwanda and everything that comes with it. I will miss all the people that I served and made such strong bonds with. I will miss the fun I managed to have everyday. I will miss all the ridiculous and inexplicable things that happened everyday. I will miss all of the hard experiences I had everyday, that have made me a stronger, better person. I will miss the other volunteers that were so wonderful words cannot describe, I will consider them my second family for the rest of my life. I’m a few minutes from landing in LA now, most of all I hope I can bring home all of my new knowledge, love, strength, and compassion with me. I will always keep Rwanda and these lessons close to my heart.

Murakoze cyane Rwanda!

Rwanda 2/14/11

Today is my last full day in Rwanda, and I am having a hard time coming to terms with that. I miss the ease of my life back home, along with friends, family, and the boyfriend, but I just feel like being here brings out the best in me, and I’m scared to go home and lose that. We had quite the ordeal trying to get breakfast somewhere, (we had to keep reminding ourselves about Africa time) but finally settled for getting a few groceries at Nakumat, our favorite grocery store.
After that we made the long bus ride out to Neomatta, which is a town that houses a church, which is now a genocide memorial.

During the genocide 10,000 Tutsi’s went into hiding at this small church. They though that if they were in a place of God they wouldn’t be murdered. They overestimated the killer’s morals, and as a result every last one of them were tortured and killed. Inside the church they had heaps of clothing all over the pews. The clothing was a reddish/brown color stained from the blood of the victims. All of the clothing was from the people who were murdered there. Out in the back they had mass graves. You could walk down underground to look at them, some were in coffins, but there were hundreds of skulls and bones just set on shelves.

Seeing all the cracked skulls, and how many of them there were, made the genocide so much more real to me. It was a very haunting experience I will never, ever forget.
Marit, Ellen, and I decided to visit another church nearby. We hitch hiked our way there, we got really lucky. This man took us all the way up there instead of just dropping us off on the main road. If anything, I will always remember the kindness everyone showed us there. This church memorial was even worse than the last one. In one of the Sunday school rooms there was a huge red/brown stain covering a wall. The man there told us this is where the babies and small children were murdered, by being smashed against the wall.

I have no words to decide how I felt standing there looking at this. I know I will never be able to get that image out of my head. I will never understand how people could do such things to innocent children.
Later that night I had a tearful goodbye with my sisters as they took the bus back to Gisenyi, which I am already homesick for. Lynn (who is flying out the same day as me) and I then went and had a romantic Valentines Day dinner together. Haha. When we went home to the guest house I’m unfamiliar with, my moto driver dropped me of on the wrong street, and I spent the next hour wondering around in the pouring rain, walking down deserted, dimly lit alleyways searching for the right house. I was trying not to panic, and then out of nowhere like an angel Lynn appears with an umbrella to take me home. I have never been so happy to see someone in my life.

Rwanda 2/13/11

First off I would like to say that there is something significant about the fact that my first day in Rwanda was January 1st, a day known for new year resolutions, and change. And my last day, Valentines Day. A day of love.
Well I’m spending my last few days here in Rwanda. All the girls came to Kigali to see me off. Baraka, Yves, Fiston, and Patrick all asked if they could escort me, but I’d rather have my sisters with me. I still had lots of candy with me so on the bus ride to Kigali I walked up and down the isles passing it out. Everybody loved me after that. Then “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias came on and the 5 of us girls got so excited and sang every word very loudly. Needless to say we made quite the spectacle of ourselves which is okay because everyone stares at us as it is, so we might as well give them something to stare at. We got a round of applause when we finished!
That afternoon we went to hotel Rwanda (Hotel des Milles Collines)

It was still strange to see things I recognized from the movie, and be in a place where so much happened. On the way out we took some photos by the Milles Collines sign, and silly Synnøve got dirt on it from her shoe, so then Marit being the amazing friend she is got a water bottle and tried to wash it off, the guard that was watching was having an absolute aneurysm at this point, so we just briskly walked away. Then we got stuck on a roundabout

in the middle of busy Kigali for about 5 minutes with all of my luggage. Good times. Later that night we met some Kigali volunteers at our favorite restaurant for a goodbye dinner. The hotel we were staying in was so sketchy we hid our valuables in the ceiling! That night I squeezed into a bed with Ellen and Marit. Good thing we became best friends because we definitely were cozy.