I hate grocery shopping

Everyone who has ever lived with me knows this.  In college I managed to only go to the store about once a month.  Today my mom wanted me to go to Costco with her, and I said yes since I had nothing better to do with my time.  We managed to make a spectacle of ourselves not two, not three, but four times. 

Incident number 1- As we were waiting for the cashier to find our photos we ordered I saw Winged Migration on the TVs'.  I said, "Mom remember that time you made me take Grandma to that movie?"  (My grandmother LOVES birds) My mom answered, "No! We all went to see that."  "Definitely not. That was one of those times you made me do some awful task you didn't want to do" (Just like when you made me drive to a dump in the middle of no where Springville to drop off our old refrigerator...But that is a different story)  "That was the worst movie ever, Grandma and I slept through the whole thing." The guy was practically crying while listening to this.

Incident number 2- As the same poor guy was checking us out for our photos, Drew my 11 year brother started making some horrible squawking noises.  I said, silence yourself! You sound like that heinous little girl a few minutes ago.  (There had been a girl making noise and my mom had kept trying to get her attention to give her a dirty look to stop her racket) The cashier obviously found this humorous as well.  I was being perfectly serious. 

Incident number 3- While looking for contact solution my mom spotted medical rubber gloves and says to me, "Hey, should we get you some for Rwanda?"  I replied in a smart arse voice, "Yuuppp I'm just going to walk around with rubber gloves on all day."  A woman overheard our conversation and lost her composure as we walked away.

Incident number 4- My mom has the horrible habit of running away from me in stores, and says that she was just looking at something else... I believe otherwise.  Today after getting a drink while she was checking out I saw her literally running through the parking lot with the cart towards our car.  Needless to say we got quite a few strange looks from the civilians watching us.

So if you ever need someone to go grocery shopping with, don't call me unless you want to hear me complain about how cold it is in there, and help make a complete fool out of you.