Perfect German Specimen No More...

       I have had blonde hair my whole life except for a few months when I dyed it black for my competition dance team.  As everything in my life has fallen apart in the last few months, I decided to start over with everything, so I dyed my hair red.  I didn't tell anyone I was doing it, so it came as a huge shock to most.  Surprisingly everyone LOVES it, my mother even told me it looks so good that I should dye it red the rest of my life!  The only person I was scared to see it is my German grandmother.  True to form, the first time she saw it she didn't even give me a hug, she said "What happened to your hair?  Did you fall in a bucket of red paint?"  And her parting words were, "Next time I see you, you're going to be blonde, right?"  I can't please everyone I guess.  And even though I know that I am pretty much written out of her will now, for not looking like the perfect German arian race I am still happy with my decision of being a ginger. 

I dearly love to laugh... A family trait I think

The next two stories are things that brought humor to my mundane life this last week:

• I attended my sister’s class that she teaches at BYU on Friday, which was quite amusing, but my favorite part was when the students were complaining that their next paper was due the day Harry Potter 7 comes out.  This got the whole class distracted and talking about their excitement for the upcoming event.  One girl said, I heard there was a nude scene in the movie.  This comment erupted into more discussion on the matter, but immediately a boy commented and said, yeah and it’s Hagrid.

• The next story takes place 35 minutes outside of Logan Utah where my dear friend (who shall remain nameless in case I want to write more about him later) would drive with his friends to patronize the nearest Denny’s.  Why they would drive that far for a 5^th rate establishment is beyond me, but I suppose that living in such a small town makes you desperate. Anyway, he told me when they went there they hoped for the lunatic waitress, not the crazy lunatic.  This time they were graced by just the lunatic, so they thought they were safe.  When they went to pay their bill there were 3 waters on there and the lunatic asked, “Who had the waters?”  The three guys just kind of looked at each other and laughed, thinking she was joking.  One of them answered, “….Well they’re free aren’t they?”  “Yes, but I just need to know who’s bill to put them on.”  “Well there are three of us, and three waters…”  How some people function in life is beyond me… They joked that next time they went in there she was going to ask who used what napkin, and fork etc…  This is just further proof of why you should never go to Denny’s. 

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page

I want to travel to every country  before I die.  But here is my list for the next 10 years:

Cayman Islands

Egypt

Pakistan

Ivory Coast

Russia

India

Indonesia

Fiji

Australia

Israel

New Zealand

Tahiti

Malta

Rwanda

Peru 

**Let me know if you're interested in joining me

I hate grocery shopping

Everyone who has ever lived with me knows this.  In college I managed to only go to the store about once a month.  Today my mom wanted me to go to Costco with her, and I said yes since I had nothing better to do with my time.  We managed to make a spectacle of ourselves not two, not three, but four times. 

Incident number 1- As we were waiting for the cashier to find our photos we ordered I saw Winged Migration on the TVs'.  I said, "Mom remember that time you made me take Grandma to that movie?"  (My grandmother LOVES birds) My mom answered, "No! We all went to see that."  "Definitely not. That was one of those times you made me do some awful task you didn't want to do" (Just like when you made me drive to a dump in the middle of no where Springville to drop off our old refrigerator...But that is a different story)  "That was the worst movie ever, Grandma and I slept through the whole thing." The guy was practically crying while listening to this.

Incident number 2- As the same poor guy was checking us out for our photos, Drew my 11 year brother started making some horrible squawking noises.  I said, silence yourself! You sound like that heinous little girl a few minutes ago.  (There had been a girl making noise and my mom had kept trying to get her attention to give her a dirty look to stop her racket) The cashier obviously found this humorous as well.  I was being perfectly serious. 

Incident number 3- While looking for contact solution my mom spotted medical rubber gloves and says to me, "Hey, should we get you some for Rwanda?"  I replied in a smart arse voice, "Yuuppp I'm just going to walk around with rubber gloves on all day."  A woman overheard our conversation and lost her composure as we walked away.

Incident number 4- My mom has the horrible habit of running away from me in stores, and says that she was just looking at something else... I believe otherwise.  Today after getting a drink while she was checking out I saw her literally running through the parking lot with the cart towards our car.  Needless to say we got quite a few strange looks from the civilians watching us.

So if you ever need someone to go grocery shopping with, don't call me unless you want to hear me complain about how cold it is in there, and help make a complete fool out of you. 

What's that word I'm looking for? No it's not handyman...

Due to the fact that I'm probably the lamest person at home repairs ever to try to fix anything... That means that I must marry someone who can fix everything. 

Please and thank you.

Sweet Time of Grieving

        I never intended for this blog to be one in which I talked about “feelings” all the time, but I suppose that is what has been on my mind these past few months.  It is safe to say that I am a broken being right now.  I’ve been wallowing in self-pity this last little while, but now it is time to be tough again and live my life in accordance to my biggest inspiration; “In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud.  Under the bludgeonings of chance, my head is bloody, but unbowed.”  I have gone through all the stages of pain: Sadness, anger, bitterness, blaming myself.  No matter how much I focused on these I never found solace in any of them. This person hurt me, but when I look at the big picture I am thankful they inflicted this on me, and I was not the one who did it to them.  Maybe it is selfish but I would much rather suffer than know I had made another feel like this. 

            While talking to my mother she fed the famous line, “it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”  I know this to be true.  She also gave me the advice of- I can’t rely on others for my happiness.  My fortune cookie is even trying to point me into the right direction- your good nature will bring you happiness.

            So it is clear that I am on to bigger and better things than being sad about my life.  I have decided to put together a list of goals for myself:

• Start dancing again
• Join a fencing gym
• Practice, practice, practice until I have perfect German, and French
• Become certified to teach yoga
• Start designing again, and get my look book put together
• Stick to my daily work out schedule and get to the point that I’m proud of my body
• Fill out my application to be on The Amazing Race 
• Have a solid repertoire including-
• Prelude in C Sharp Minor by Sergei Rachmaninoff
• Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy
• The Swan by Camille Saint-Saens
• Turkish March by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
• Song of India Rimsky Korsakov 

Words of kindness that our poor hearts crave. Please don't keep them, hidden away.

Lately I have lost sight of who I am.  It’s easy to get lost and turned around in a world like ours.  I was categorically kicked when I was down; I feel like I am 30 feet under water, and kicking my way to the surface. I’ve forgotten where I’ve been, and how far I’ve come. I may not be the strongest person yet, but I am getting there.  I have undergone a huge change in myself these past few years.  I had to learn lessons the hard way because I was too stubborn to listen to anyone else.  I learned that I can’t just manipulate, and walk all over people to what I get what I want.  Chris once told me that I’m a clever girl who knows exactly what I want, and how to get it.  Maybe that’s true but I got to a point in my life where I was ashamed of who I was, and knew a metamorphosis was necessary to redeem myself in this life.

I realized that I didn’t want to be remembered as the girl everyone was jealous of because she had it all; I want to be remembered as the girl that would stop what she was doing to run to the aid of broken friend.  I want to be remembered as the girl who never spoke negatively about anyone.  The bottom line is, I want to be a good person.  I no longer wanted to inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of my own happiness or satisfaction. I’ve learned true happiness comes from a sense of peace and contentment, which I obtain by serving others, and opening my heart to all.

People who know me now are often shocked to find out about past mistakes, or don’t believe me when I tell them about my previous character-or lack thereof.  Those who have known me for a while however I still feel are cautious around me, and I fear they still see the old Margot.  I realize I cannot control the way people view me, I can only do my best to show them a girl who is unselfish, kind, and charitable.